What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

Women's rights.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

A dancer walks into a barre

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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