What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops