Why did the old man die? He was old.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

Refridgerator.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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