How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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