When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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