How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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