i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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