What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

Knock Knock. Doors open

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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