A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

knock knock Goodbye

What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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