Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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