What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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