Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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