A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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