Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops