A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops