Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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