A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops