What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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I love you

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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