Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops