What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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