Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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