How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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