Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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