Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Once upon a time a was born

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops