Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

thumb_up thumb_down

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

thumb_up thumb_down

A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does greg and Ian have in common?

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops