How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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