Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

knock knock... ...no answer

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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