What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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