Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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A car walks into a bar.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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