9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Chuck Norris.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops