Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops