why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Sarah Palin.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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