What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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I C U P White stuff

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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