I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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