why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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