Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops