Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Do you play piano? No

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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