What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where would canada be without nature? still here

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops