Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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it

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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