How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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