What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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