Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Women's Soccer.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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