A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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