Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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