So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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