My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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