How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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ur gey

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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