What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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It's all Taggart

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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