hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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meatspin.fr

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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