Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops