I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

Q: knok knok A: Im home

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

guess what what ...

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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