Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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