Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops