What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +5

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops