Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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So a bar walks into a man...

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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